KAA: The Devil Went Down to Georgia

Holy crap!  It does not take very long once you’re out of the D.C./Northern Virginia metro for it to become obvious that you are officially in the South.  For me it started when I was checking in at a motel in Fredericksburg and I noticed several swastikas and SS tattoos on guy in front of me.  I was afraid for the nice Indian girl attendant, but he was surprisingly not hostile, guess he knows we should be nice to the people who are our doctors.  The best part was when he turned around and saw me, wearing my Texas t-shirt and gave me this ‘you know what it’s like’ nod of approval.

I didn’t have the time or resources to try and track down a civil war re-enactment, but I had to go visit the museum of the confederacy, which is strategically nestled between a hospital and university both full of black people, making it very comfortable to visit.  The museum has a very ‘matter of fact’ tone to its exhibits, which neither glorify the confederacy nor have a ‘victimized by the north’ tone.  Read my review on Yelp.

It does suck that they don’t let you take any pictures inside the Confederate White House, mainly because Jefferson Davis bought his kid the world’s smallest working cannon, it’s so freakin’ cute!  If you’re keeping track, I’ve seen the world’s smallest functioning lighthouse in Maine, now this! :)

I needed a break from getting in touch with my inner confederate, so I made my way to Bojangles' fried chicken in Chapell Hill North Carolina.

University of North Carolina Home of the Michael Jordans

It’s very nice of UNC to honor me, but you misspelled my name! >:O

I toured around Charlotte, but wasn’t able to find out a distinctive ‘Charlotte’ attraction.  I mean it’s a nice city, it just seemed that most tourist attractions were somehow NASCAR related, however I couldn’t leave the Carolinas without trying out their famous barbecue.

Unfortunately I was unable to compare and contrast Carolina barbecue between North and South Carolina, apparently not much is open on Sundays in the state of South Carolina L  I did manage to visit the state’s top tourist attraction: being the only state that still flies the confederate flag in the state capitol.

Everything is whiter in South Carolina!

Then I stopped at an Arby’s in Georgia.

Your American Hero,

-AK

KAA: Brotherly Love

YES! I finally took the Jersey Turnpike, which finally shed some light on the ‘what exit?’ thing that people from New Jersey always talk about. I actually imagined there being a bypass highway to New York City going to Philadelphia, unfortunately I had to drive through NYC, which wasn’t as big an accomplishment as the locals make it out to be. So far the only major city to have a bypass route is Phoenix, call me crazy, but it’s a good fuckin’ idea!

Its only befitting that an American Hero of my caliber would eventually make his way to Philly, a city I had always wanted to visit due to its historical contributions to democracy and sandwiches. I experienced all the basics the city has to offer: The Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, Rocky Balboa statue, black people, the LOVE park, and of course cheesesteaks!

I had no choice but to put both Pat’s and Geno’s to the test, and the verdict: Geno’s tastes better, Pat’s feels more ‘authentic,’ whatever that means.

Afterwards, I was ready to experience all of the excitement that Delaware has to offer, that took about 45 minutes…

My next stop was Baltimore, where I didn’t know what to expect, I just wanted not to get syphilis. Visiting Edgar Allan Poe’s grave was important to me, after all I did dress up as the red death for Halloween in High School, getting Mr. Denny to reluctantly give me extra credit for dressing up from a piece of American Literature.

Afterwards it was time find out what these Maryland crabcakes are all about, turns out they’re all about mayonnaise, which is disgusting, but waterfront was very nice, despite the traffic for the Ravens game.

Your American Hero,

-AK

KAA: East Coast Bias

The reason its taken me so long to write about Kanan Across America's New England experience is that it was very low key, I didn't get to do many of the traditional things to do in New England:

• I couldn't enjoy the foliage because it was summer
• I didn't get gay married
• I didn't wear a tweed jacket
• I wasn't able to attend any Ivy league schools

That last one I did try, however it didn't work out as planned.  I was in Boston, which I had previously visited, though hadn't seen much of the city.  It occurred to me to check out Harvard, one of the smartest places on earth, where I did one of the dumbest things I've ever done.  It was night time, and the street lighting in Boston leaves a lot to be desired.  I simply couldn't get to where the GPS was directing me!  So I saw a bus that said Harvard Square and decided to follow, and I ended following it all the way to a bus-only tunnel bus stop... FAIL!  Embarrassed I decided to get out of Boston as fast as possible!

I did get to hang out with my old Mil-Lab buddies in Vermont, which was awesome, finally getting to see Rutland in all its glory after hearing so much about it! =P  It was annoying constantly getting weird looks from people around the capital, probably b/c I was wearing a Texas shirt.  I've always believed that extreme liberalism can be just as close minded as extreme conservatism.  Oh well, c'est la vie.

This is what I expected all buildings to look like =P

Vermont: America's Vagina

Quechee Gorge

I wonder where this person stands on the issues...

My next stop was Manchester, NH, home of the famous British soccer team.  The town was incredibly nice and well kept, I was under the impression that it was the capital of the state, but apparently they too decided to relocate recently.

I had decided not to eat anything when I left the Emmons Estate in Vermont because I fully intended to feast on Maine lobster.  Maine was a state I was really excited to see, especially the part of Maine that isn't in Canada.  Unfortunately a nasty thunderstorm hit me on the way from Manchester to Portland, I had to pull over a couple of times due to no visibility, but I eventually made it to Portland in the late afternoon.

There I had another 'first,' I touched the Atlantic Ocean for the first time!!!!!  Took a boat tour of the harbor, which wasn't as beautiful as it should've been due to the gray skies, but heck I was happy they had tours in such weather to begin with!  Afterwards, it was LOBSTER TIME!

Never Thought I'd Be On a Boat...

It's a Big Blue Watery Road...

Poseidon, LOOK AT ME!!!!

My goal was to spend the night in Providence, RI, which is way bigger than I imagined, that's what she said, so I ended up getting lost looking for the Motel 6.  As impressed as I was by Providence as a city, I found it was incredibly dead for 11pm and I couldn't think of any 'must have' experiences.  I was probably too bummed out by there not being a Quahog, RI, that I decided to move along.

Suddenly, as Kanan Across America continued to steamroll across New England, I felt this horrible feeling.  I couldn't pinpoint what it was, all I remember was this awful headache and started hating all things University of Texas, I was sick to my stomach.  I suddenly craved SEC football, Yanks/Sox, and Lakers basketball, WHAT WAS WRONG WITH ME?!  That's when I saw the sign:

I needed to get out of Connecticut fast!  Actually, I did try to see if they offered some sort of ESPN campus tour, but the gate guard didn't let me in, I reckon my UT shirt was burning his retinas.

So like I said, a very low key New England experience, truth be told there were a lot of museums and points of interest, but they were simply out of my financial reach, maybe next time.

Your American Hero,
-AK

KAA: Chasing Waterfalls

Contrary to popular belief, Jim and Pam's wedding was not the most romantic thing to happen in Niagara Falls this year.  Earlier this summer I decided to spend a magical evening with the person I love the most at Niagara.

<3

I had always heard that the Canadian side of the falls was more scenic, and when I arrived I was afraid that was shockingly true.  I parked in an area called Terrapin Point, not knowing that there are other points, so I was bummed because you don't get a good view of the falls, so all you can see is the edge of the water about to fall.  To make matters worse, I had decided not to take my passport, so crossing over to get the better view, not cool.

So after about 45 minutes of trying to get a good look and not being able to, I found a black, I mean African American squirrel.  After chasing this squirrel, whom I named Mike (is that the correct usage of 'whom'?), I grabbed a diet pepsi and people watched on a bench.  Enter trolley!  I jumped on this trolley thinking to myself 'why not?'  Several stops later I get out at something called 'The Visitor's Center.'  Turns out THATS where you want to go!

The REAL Niagara Falls view totally blew my mind!  Fortunately for me the observation deck wasn't too crowded, so I got a good chunk of staring & wandering off time.  SUCK IT CANADA!

After a good few hours, it was dinner time.  You shouldn't have to guess that I was going to get myself some buffalo wings.  Went to Anchor Bar, home of the original buffalo wings.  The Verdict?  Good, not great, though the atmosphere is terrific.

Your American Hero,

-AK